Just One

I came to a crisis of belief today. I opened my eyes and the world changed on me . . . I can't believe it. Something so big has happened that it's like a paradigm shift in my reality. I am still adjusting. Indeed, I may be adjusting for sometime . . .

Well, I was in the writing center today, tutoring. As I read a client's paper, I noticed the spacing after the period. I didn't say anything about it, but I thought it strange. After the client left, I yelled to Marty Dignard, "Hey, Marty, there's two spaces after a period, right?" At this moment my world collapsed. Marty replied, "Uh, actually, it's just one now."

I was in shock. I was incredulous. I was exaccerbated. How did this happen? This is a standard of written English; it can't just change overnight! I am a writing-center tutor! How dare it change on ME!

After some debate and investigation with Marty, we found an internet site for the MLA format that verified Marty's claim. Check it out for yourself: http://www.mla.org/style_faq3. It says that one space after the period is now the standard . . . although two spaces are usually accepted.
So here I am, trying to find myself again after my world has been turned upside-down. What can I do? Try to change? As you can see from the spacing after my periods, this is very difficult for me. I just can't bring myself to leave only one space after the period. Two spaces are what I've always done. I thought it would always be this way. Maybe I should get with the times. Maybe I should try this new-fangled English. OK, I'll give it a shot right now. I'm doing it. Ouch, it hurts. Oooh, it hurts real bad. This just does not look right. It also brings this sharp pain to my heart. I can't keep doing this. I must stop. Now! Ah! That's better. I'm back to normal. It's like I can finally breathe again. My text needs to breathe. Just let me breathe! Just let me breathe.


News Update: The doctor has certified that our Friendly Neighborhood Writing Coach is doing fine. His panic attacks have stopped, and he is sleeping at night again. As he transitions to this "new English," we are letting him put 2 spaces after the period on his posts, and then we are going through and removing the extra space. However, he is practicing every day, and we expect that he will soon have this mastered without medication.